Dangerous minds
by Sarahhx3
Summary: Bella kills herself after over a year after Edward left, she never became to close to Jake, and Alice didn't have a vision. 2 years later the cullens comeback to forks hoping to find a happy Bella, how will the react knowing the truth? FIRST FAN FIC! R&R!
1. Bella's reasoning

**Okay this is my first fan fic, so don't be too harsh.:  
**

**We all know Bella was not herself in those months that Edward left, but lets say Bella never got so close to Jacob therefore never jumped off the cliff, Instead, Bella's sorrow turns to anger, and Bella takes the anger out on herself, hurting herself...permanently . Two years later,Alice never finds a vision out of the ordinary, Edward and the rest of the Cullen's comes back from missing Bella , comes back expecting Bella is okay & happy, but what if he comes back two years later and...well.. i guess you'll have to see what poor desperate Bella did...character death.: (can you guess who?)(yeah, unlikely Bella would ever be angry at the Cullen's, but that why it's fan fiction,right?;, and come on, if she hadn't of met Jacob, she would have lost her mind, so this could of been possible.:)**

_Bella's reasoning;_

**Bella point of view;**

As i sit here in my room, hugging my knees to my chest, sobbing, i think of _him._ My lover, my savior, my reason of my being. I feel the black hole deepen as his face enters my mind. Oh God how i miss him. He left me, though. About 13 months ago. I was merely a _human distraction._ He told me he didn't want me. But, i knew, deep deep down, that that day would come.He was so beautiful, flawless. And i was so boring and far from perfect. How could i ever think he could love me? His family, knowing what he was doing just acted so sweetly... Then,as i thought of this, i felt something in the pit of my stomach... the sorrow that has numbed my body for months, turns to rage. How could the Cullen's have tricked me? How could they have told me they loved me, told me they wanted me to one of _them,_ then just get up and leave one day? Do they go from town to town hurting girls? Ideas of betrayal and hate swerve in and out of my mind. I feel myself hyperventilating. They hated me...They probably laughed at behind my back, thinking how stupid i was for actually thinking they could love me.I feel my sobs shake my body when i hear a knock on the door.

"Bella? You okay sweetheart?"

Charlie.

I suck back my sobs and put on a reasonably sane sounding voice. I look around the room for an excuse for the loud sobbing with out him knowing the truth, i glance at the bathroom coming up with the old water excuse. Of course he would see past it. I guess it no longer mattered.

"Yeah, dad. I'm fine.I just er- had some water go down the wrong way."

"Oh, alright. Me and billy are going fishing, and I'll probably eat at his place. I'm sure you're welcome to come, Jacob's been asking 'bout ya."

I roll my eyes.

Why would i put a poor boy through the misery of walking around with a _shell?_

"No thanks dad."

"Alright,Bells. See ya around ten-ish. Love you"

"Love you, too dad."

Ever since the Cullens left Charlie's been pushing me to get out and move on. Is he crazy? Everyone pretty much ignores me. Even he's began to ignore me lately. But i can't blame them, I'm no longer Bella. Just her shell. Bella was taken the day Edward left. And as for _moving on, _how? Edward was my everything. Past tense, of course. Now i realize i was nothing to him, the hole he left aches even worse. I was so stupid. Stupid, stupid Bella. Now, i was permanently damaged. I could never love again, for two reasons. One; no one could ever even come **close** to comparing to Edward. Two; i was too afraid of being hurt, again. I was broken beyond repair. What was the point of even being alive? I felt a sob crawl from the back of my throat, and i felt my body shake again.What _was_ the point?, i think between sobs. No one loved me,obviously. And just when i thought i had love, it leaves me, turning out to be a joke..

I rub my temples. I feel the hyperventilating start again. I was a worthless human, a waste of space, a burden to my friends and family. My hands fall to my face, soaking them with my tears. I don't deserve to put everyone else through my pain. And i **won't...** I move my hands from my face and stand up, my hands straight down by my sides, my fist balled up beside me. I knew what i had to do. I made my way to the down stair's closet...in search of charlie's police gun belt..

**CLIFFHANGER!!**

**i know this chapter's kinda boring,**

**but the next will be better,**

**promise.**

**review for me?**

**purty please.**


	2. Freedom

**Yeahh, i couldn't sleep so i decided to keep writing.**

**btw;**

**i think charlie carries his gun in his jacket;**

**but i wanted to kinda give an obvious hint.**

**Still B.P.O.V;;**

I was about a foot away from the closet door. I just stared at for a moment, but it felt like an hour. My hand was burning with anticipation and the cool knob felt good against my skin, cold and hard like...No, Bella, i thought, not yet. I quickly spotted the belt, and the clutch of the gun. I slowly ran my finger tip down the clutch, tracing the rough surface. My fingers wrap around it slowly, pulling it from its place in the belt. I stared at the gun, the ticket to freedom to me and everyone in my life. I feel a small smile pull my lips, probably the first _real_ smile since he left.

I put the gun in the pocket of my grey hoodie, and fold up my light faded jeans, to prevent the grounded rain to soak them. I put my hood up, hiding my tangled hair thrown up in a messy bun, and slip on a pair wanna-be black crocs, and open the front door. Of course, it's raining again. I jog to my truck, and quickly start it up and the loud roar of the engine sooths me. But not for long, my mind starts racing again, the thoughts of _him._ **Edward Cullen,**the monster. It hurts like hell to say his name, but i might as well cause myself as much pain as possible, it will all be over soon anyway.

I just sit in my truck, not sure where i want to go. The meadow? No. I don't want to destroy the beautiful memories made there. Maybe their old house? Also, too many memories that i love. After thinking for many minutes, i get it ,and run into the house. I find three pieces of paper and a pen, and write my good-byes to Charlie, Renee and Phil, and even _The Cullens_, even though I'm perfectly aware they'll probably never get it, but i pour my heart and soul, at least what's left, into all three, leaving them on the kitchen counter. Charlie will find them there fairly quick. And with that, i step back out in the pouring rain, heading to the woods that the one person i loved led me over a year ago.

I made my way down to part of the woods where Edward Cullen, i feel myself wince at the name, had brought me to tell me he no longer wanted me. This place was perfect, it's where most of me died that day anyway, so i might as finish the rest of me in the same bad memory.

I stop at the place where i did a year ago, looking at the spot in front of me, the spot where Edward stood. For the first time ever, i replay those moments in my head. His words, my words, his blank unemotional face. Those black eyes...Everything. I wrap my arms across my stomach and fall to my knees,in the mud, the sobs are coming non-stop. Everything that I've been avoiding to think of, his name, face, smell, cold perfect body, his beautiful voice, it all comes crashing down on me, and i feel the worst pain i have in my whole life.

I shriek into the pouring rain, "I hate you Edward Cullen!" But i automatically feel myself take it back.

"No" i say softly to my self, "I love you Edward, no matter how bad you wronged me." I uncross my hands and take out the gun from my now mud splashed hoodie, and put it against my temple. "So this, Edward, is for you." I close my eyes and put pressure to the trigger softly, i hear a bang, but it only lasts for a milli-second. Then, i see a white light, and all the pain was gone, i felt free, i was happy. _I really was free._


	3. Too young

**Yeah so poor Bella killed herself.: **

**I didn't want to make it gory or harsh,**

**but you know.**

**REVIEW!**

**Charlie's point of view;;**

When i got home it was, eh, I'd say about 11:30, the game had gone into over-time, and Billy insisted i stay. I walked in the door, as quiet as possible trying not to wake Bella, and walked into kitchen for a coke. I glance at the counter and notice a couple letters neatly stacked on one another. Late mail maybe? I pick up the first one and it was addressed "Charlie", i glanced at the last two, "Renee and Phil" and the last one sent anger through my body "The Cullens".What the...? They moved away a year ago, but good riddance! I hated them for what they turned Bella into. She has no pride or dignity, it's like that stupid boy took everything from her. I would give them all a piece of my mind if they set foot in Forks ever again, i'll tell you that.

I looked more closely at the letter wondering why the hell there would be a letter addressed to them in my house, but then realized it was in Bella's handwriting. I wrinkle my forehead in confusion and anger. I no longer cared if i woke her up or not, she's going to explain why she's decided to write letters to these people, and me and her mother,for that. Has she just decided to stop talking? She stopped doing everything else. Oh hell. What's next? Breathing? I march up the steps to her room.

"Bella!"I scream.

No answer. I have my letter and the cullens in my hand, gripping them tightly, and putting more pressure on it. I sigh angrily.

"If this some game you're playing playing, or some new thing you're trying by not talking, i refuse to tolerate it! You hear me?" I say as i walked in to her room, flipping the light on. But instead of finding Bella sitting there stubbornly staring at me, like i expected, i find a neatly made bed with no sign of Bella even laying there.

I laugh to myself. Ha. I bet she finally took my advice and went somewhere, i think, forgetting about her mother's and cullens letter. I start open mine up, letting the other fall, and happily begin to read thinking Bella's finally got tired of sulking over that stupid boy. But my smile soon fades into sorrow as i read what my little girl wrote..

_Dear dad,_

_I love you, always know that. But, today i realized that i was putting you and everyone in my life through a hard time. I also realized what the cullens really thought of me. Now please dad, don't take what happened to me on them, please! You'll probably never see them again, but, if for some reason you see them, understand that i was the foolish one for ever thinking they could love me. This was my fault, i shouldn't have trusted them. And now, that I've figured the truth out, the pain is unbearable, so I'm going to kill myself. I'm sorry, please don't be sad dad. I'm happier now._

_Love,_

_Bella._

I try to read over the letter again, hoping i made a terrible mistake, but my eyes are unable to focus due the fact my hands are shaking uncontrollably. Bella _killed _herself? All over that stupid Cullen? I crumple the paper and drop it, and fall to my knees, sobbing.

"Oh Isabella.." I whisper to myself ,"you were so young, too young. All over a boy. Oh Bells,"

I get up slowly and make my way down stairs, and walk to the kitchen, preparing to let everyone know our Bella's gone.


	4. His return

**Thanks for the two of you that reviewed! : ily. haha. anywho;**

**onward to the story!**

_**The setting is two years in forks, and our favorite vampire back!.: i know all of you've been looking forward to edwards reaction,and you'll get a little bit of it, but his temper doesn't come till next chapter. yummy.**_

_**REVIEWWW.**_

**Edward's point of view;**

It's been three years since i saw my beautiful Bella smile. My life has been meaningless since that day i left her in the woods. But, as i stand about 5 minutes away from Forks, well in vampire speed anyway, i have a million things race thorugh my mind. Bella has just turned 21. Is she engaged? Married? Pregnant? Maybe already have a child? Even though it hurts to think she loves someone else, probably, i can't help but be a little happy. At least she was safe. There was no one else to hurt her.(We took care of Victoria when we "ran into her" in Africa.) With this last thought of her safety, i take off, heading to Forks.

I smile Bella's favorite smile. The first one in a long time. Forks hasn't changed one bit. As i walk down the street, i half expect to see Bella smiling and holding hands with Mike Newton, or some other human boy, but instead, i only see people i recognize vaguely. They all seem to have hateful expressions towards me, and their thoughts, confuse me.

"So the murderers back, is he ready to kill another one?" I hear a older man think.

"Poor Bella...That guy is such a dick. Good thing she's not here." A teenage girl thinks as she looks at me.

More thoughts race through my mind, mostly harsh name-calling or people pitying Bella. But why? Did Bella move or something? It was all so confusing. Why would everyone hate me? I had to find out. I turned a corner where no one could see me, and took off at vampire speed. I was at Bella's house within 2 minutes. I climbed up her window, her room is still the same, and i felt puzzled. What was going on exactly? I jump down and walk around to the front, and knock on the door and wait. Charlie, who now looks about 20 years older answers the door, his face has no expression when he opened the door, but then hate took over his face.

"Cullen! What the hell do you want?!"

I feel my eyes widen, i know now leaving Bella was a mistake, and i was trying to make up for it. I love her. I wish people would cut me some slack, really.

"I'd like to see Bella, if that was possible." I say in my most pleasant calm, voice.

Tears fill his eyes as images of Bella go through his mind.

"You think you're funny Cullen? Is this some big joke?!"

Images now of him putting me in jail and shooting me go through his head. Lovely. But then, another image goes from his mind to mine. It's Bella. She's laying on the forest floor, muddy, and her limbs are at awkward angles. And she has...Charlies gun in her hand. She's in a puddle of her own blood, and i see the source is coming from her head.

"Oh my God." I whisper to myself, but Charlie was too busy yelling at me to hear. I look to see him now red-faced with tears running down his cheeks.

"You killed my only daughter Cullen! You left her here to rot! And _I_, being the chief of the police had to find her, dead! She was too good for you. And after everything you did to her, she still told me i shouldn't blame you, or your family. And she even left you all a letter, after all that, a letter." He walked away, leaving the door open, i stood there unable to move. I felt myself trembling...Bella's dead...That thought went through my brain over and over, each time not making sense.

"She promised..." I whisper.

Suddenly,Charlie comes back out and shoves a white envelope in my face.

"Here! That's the damn letter, I don't care if you read it Edward, but after everything you put her through, i think that's the least you can do." He looks at me for a second. And shakes his head. "Don't ever set foot on this property again, or I'll have you arrested, i swear on my life." And with that, he slams the door in my face. I feel dazed. My Bella...my sweet sweet Bella, dead.

I thought by leaving her, I'd protect her, keep her safe from everyone, but it turns out i wasn't here to protect her from the most important person..._herself._

I pick up my cell phone and quickly call Alice, i hear her dry sobbing over the phone.

"Oh Edward!" She cries, "I should have seen it, i should of saved her, but now...now she's dead! It's all my fault!"

"Alice," I say sternly, "You were only obeying my wishes, this is none of your fault."

She doesn't reply, all i hear is her deep breathing.

"I think I'm going to her grave, Alice. I'm sure you knew that, but i'd like some alone time there for awhile, so give me like a half hour, okay?"

"Of course, Edward...I'll see you soon."

"Goodbye Alice."

**Okay, so he's going to her grave, and then meet the rest of the cullens , then, letter time.: Review please!  
**


	5. I'm sorry

**Okayyy,**

**so we get to see how Edward really reacts in this chapter,**

**(yes Goldneyes; he was kinda in shock) :**

**R&R.**

**Still E.P.O.V;**

I couldn't believe it...Bella killed herself. Over _me._ I was walking unnaturally slow, even for human speed. I was in a daze, unsure of what to do. My hands balled in my fists involuntarily. I took off at vampire speed, i didn't care who saw me. I had to get there. Now.

I was there within three minutes. I stood by the gates of the grave yard, looking out at all the headstones.The graveyard had no one in it, except for myself, and the graves. The images from Charlies mind and everything that i had just heard hit me like a ton of bricks. I roared in anger and grabbed a bar of the gate, twisting it my with my strength. I look at the gate and close my eyes, letting my hand fall back to my side, and i feel myself moving towards the graves, slowly. A part of me says to leave, but the other part, moving me, says to look.

I stop in front of a head stone, staring down i feel my fists clench. It's Bella's.

_"Isabella Marie Swan_

_1989-2008 _

_Beloved daughter and friend"_

I feel my legs give out as i fall before the grave. There are flowers, Lillie's, against the stone. Freshly picked. Charlie must change them every week. Next to the flowers is a picture of Bella, she looks beautiful. She's sitting down and wearing a navy v-cut shirt with sequins down the slit and her hair is resting on her shoulders. She has a timid, but beautiful smile on her face, but she looks happy. I touch it softly.

"Oh Bella..." I say softly.

"You promised, you promised you would stay for Charlie!"I say more loudly. I rest my body against the head stone. My breath is hard and fast, and even though it's not necessary for me, I feel like if i stopped, I'd fall apart and my non-beating heart would burst.

Rage fills my body again and I quickly stand up and race over to a patch of woods beside the graveyard. I needed to get my anger out.

I begin hitting trees and knocking down trees and throwing them. "Bella!" I scream. I throw down another tree and my face falls to my hands as i dry sob.

"Bella, i love you, why did you leave? Is it because of me?" I let my hands leave my face as i look to sky. "I didn't those things Bella," I say through my dry sobs "I'm sorry! I shouldn't of left you! I know!" I fall back to my knees and hit the ground with my fist. "I don't deserve to be here!" I yell "I didn't deserve you!, I didn't deserve to ever meet you!" My breathing starts to get faster, then, Alice's thoughts enter my brain.

"Edward...Don't be so hard on yourself." Alice thought soothingly.

I turn around to see her standing about 5 feet away. She looks at destroyed woods, shaking her head. She walks up to me and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"It'll be okay Edward."

I shake my head. "It won't, Alice." She didn't respond. I look up expecting her to be having a vision, but instead she's looking over her shoulder at Bella's grave.

I break the silence, "She wrote us a letter, you know."

"I know," she says calmly turning to look down at me, taking her hand off my shoulder. "it's very hurtful."

"Should i read it?",glancing into her mind hoping to understand what she means by _hurtful_, but she's blocking it for some reason.

"I think you should, it would let you see how Bella really felt about us, or thought she did thinking we didn't love her."

A sting hits my body. She died thinking i didn't _love her?_ Oh no Bella...How could you of thought that? After all the times i promised my love to you, and the only time i tell you i don't want you, you believe me. Oh Bella, my poor Bella...I'm sor-.

My thoughts were cut off by Alice's voice, she was looking, well glaring down at me with anger in her eyes.

"What exactly did you tell her when we left Edward?"

I look down at the ground and stood up, unable to face my sister. I knew she'd be angry with me.

"That i no longer wanted her Alice,that she wasn't good for me." I looked up at her now black eyes.

"Edward Cullen, you are truly a monster," She said in a low, hateful voice. "Did you actually think Bella would just forget us? Just _move on?"_ I could hear the venom dripping in her words. "She was in _love_ with you, for Gods sake! It was bad enough leaving her, but telling her she wasn't right for you?! What were you thinking!"

I set my eyes on the ground. I _was_ a monster. The older man was right, i was a cold blooded murderer. I killed Bella Swan. I looked back up at Alice, her face was full of anger, but as i look into her eyes, they turned back into there normal warm golden color, and her face turned sympathetic, understanding how i guilty i already felt.

"I guess we should go home Edward. We should read the letter with the rest of the family."

She put her hand on my arm, pulling me out of the grave yard, and as we walked out, i looked at Bella's grave one last time.

**Yeah,**

**so i decided to have the letter reading with the whole with all the cullens, but i need a couple suggestions on what it would say, i have a pretty good idea, but suggestions would be nice, so if you have any, please send me a message!:**

** REVIEW!**

**-Sarah**


	6. Author note

**I'm working on school this week, so i haven't had a chance to work on chapters, so i probably won't be able to update this week , but this weekend (4-6/4-7) i will update for sure!**

**:**

**If you have any questions/concerns feel free to message me.**

**:**

**-Sarah.**


	7. The letter

**Sorry i haven't updated in a while! i've been busy. & i'm adding a twist to the story.: enjoy!**

**E.P.O.V still**

We arrived to our home fairly quickly and i gripped the letter in my pale hands as everyone gathered into the living room. I could feel their eyes burning on me and i looked up and spoke, finally.

"I'm sure you all know what has happened." I say in a low voice.

They nod their heads in agreement. I look down at the paper again and slowly tear the fragile seal, taking the old paper out of it's place and hold it in front of me. I look at my family.

"Ready?" I say.

Once again they nod, and i proceed to read.

_Dear Cullens,_

_If you are reading this, i am shocked to say the least. I'm sure you already know I killed myself, and if you haven't figured it out, you were the cause. My life was taken the day that Edward broke my heart and told me he no longer wanted me, and it took me a year too figure out exactly what he meant, but i know now. I know that i was just a toy that you all enjoyed playing with. Since you don't get to kill humans, do you just like to have them as pets instead? I mean, really. Instead of the pleasure of seeing the fear in their eye before you attack them, you like to see sorrow instead? Drive them to their own death? Honestly, next time just suck them dry, because then, it won't hurt so bad. I wanted to say a few quick words to all of you, just to let you see how badly you hurt the "helpless mortal girl." _

_Carlisle & Esme- Wow,I never thought all of the love and kindness you gave me was fake. I mean, Esme, you seemed so passionate about me, especially when you said you wanted me as your daughter, but then you just faked it for a laugh? And Carlisle, thinking about how many times you saved my life, now i know it wasn't out of love, but the sake of entertainment, Shame on you two._

_Rosalie- Honestly, i want to thank you. You were the only one who showed the real feelings everyone had for me. I really just wish i would have taken your hint earlier. Now, i'm in too far to turn back, but thank you for your honesty. Really._

_Jasper- There's nothing i can really say. I mean, i never really knew you. But maybe you were concerned with me to get involved? Concerned what your family was doing? Or maybe you just didn't care? I'm not sure, but you're one less person that didn't hurt me with false love, so thank you, also._

_Emmet- You know, when you always made jokes at my expense, i really didn't think to much of it. But knowing the truth, i can only imagine what you said behind my back. I feel really stupid trying to imagine, but i can only dread your hateful words and jokes.  
_

_Alice- Alice, you were my best friend, or so i thought so, but honestly, thinking about it, i think you were probably the biggest bitch I've ever known. Telling me false statements of being with your family forever, loving me as a sister, everything. Just so you could watch me suffer. You really disappointed me the most, Alice. I thought i had really found my best friend._

_Edward- I don't know where to start Edward. You were my everything. I never thought i could love someone so much, I never thought it could hurt so much to be away Edward. I never knew..But i also never thought that you would lie, I never thought you could hurt someone like that. But i guess i was never convinced a someone to you, only a thing. I hate you for what you did to me Edward Cullen, but I love you for what you gave me..true love, even if it was fake..I'm sorry i wasn't good enough for you._

_And in general to all of you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry i ever met you. But i can't keep living. I have nothing, now. I will never find someone as amazing as you all. And i know you're probably with another __distraction__ but, even though i have hate all of you, the love is still in my heart, and stronger, and no matter what, it will always be there._

_I know you're probably all laughing at this, but hey, i wanted to let you know how i felt._

_Love Bella Swan._

My whole family was now dry sobbing. I put my hands in my face. Their thoughts crowded my mind. All of them the same; "why didn't we just stop Edward from leaving." They shouldn't of had to stop me, i shouldn't have been so stupid to leave. Jasper quickly excused himself from the room, unable to bear all the emotions, not even trying to calm everyone down.

We all just sit in silence for what seemed like forever, then Emmet broke the silence.

"Edward how could you of told her that!?,"He stood up and screamed at me. "You knew we all loved her and she died thinking we hated her! She died because of the pain _you_ caused her! What the hell!?"

I quickly got up unable to handle the guilt and lock myself in my room. I hear Esme trying calm Emmet down and convince him I'm sorry enough, and I was. I really was.

**Review!!**

**It really makes me want to write faster when i feel like people are reading and enjoying, so if you review, I'll work faster.**

**:**

**&**

**Short, i know, but the next chapter is going to have a twist because i didn't want to kill Edward soooo, i think you'll enjoy it.**

**& It's a spur of the moment twist & i think you'll like it.**

**:**

**REVIEW!**


	8. author note 2

**Okay,**

**I've decided to make a sequel to dangerous minds instead of keep going. Sooo, i've already started it, so look out for the sequel.**

**:)**

**thanks everyone.**


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